Fasting and raya always remind me of certain feelings and unpleasant experience that I went through in 2012-2013. things slowly got better and now here i am, trying to live my life raising my children and caring for my aging parents the only way i know how. sure, it gets quiet around here sometimes and i wish i have people whom i can just call and meet but honestly, i can’t say that i do. i know, it sounds pathetic but on the other hand i do find peace in knowing that my boring and lonely life is free of passive-aggressiveness, cold shoulders and emotional rollercoaster. most importantly, noone pushes me around! aahh the price of being free is..oh well you know.
i did think about meeting people the way most people do it 2016 (in the cyberspace where else?) but after some looking and talking…i have concluded that most men on the internet are married. so i think maybe that avenue isn’t for me. having said that and looking from the outside, i think being married these days is quite challenging. there is a high probability your spouse is on one of many dating websites. doesn’t matter how many advices and tips and kisah benar are posted on their fb wall with their names tagged by their wives, married men are just… i don’t know. window shopping? given a choice my man will have no smart phone and no data plan.