unspeaking

I have been trying to speak when I am compelled to be quiet and be quiet when I feel like speaking up. it takes a lot of thinking to do that recognizing what i feel like doing and telling my brain what i should be doing instead. it is a bit of reprogramming and it is progressing very slowly. as in 1 step forward, 2 steps backward kinda thing. not to mention that at the same time, the heart is dealing with emotions, which are driving words into the tongue. so you can imagine how busy my brain has been (like i can imagine how confused you are by now)…

today i was met with a challenge in the form of an elderly woman. never underestimate old women’s ability to insinuate certain messages in seemingly innocent questions. i usually play dumb but today i was dumbfounded by the end of the conversation.

old lady: what are you doing here? aren’t you working?
me: mmm yes i am wor…. (cut off by the next question)
old lady: where do you work?
me : xxx (the name of the township where the office is – i know she meant who is my employer but i didn’t want to play this game. and she did say ‘where’)
old lady: isn’t that where you live?
me: yea….(again cut off)
old lady: oh….there’s work in xxx?
me: *bite off her head and went back to my office as fast as i could*

well, she is still alive y’all. of course i didn’t eat the head. i wasn’t hungry.

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Published by: mizrae

I am not always nice, but I can be. I like reading more than writing, and I wish I write better than I do. I hope that I listen more than I speak because honestly, that's the kind of people I am drawn to.

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