Making an effort because friendship isn’t effortless

I just came home from meeting an old friend. She works abroad now, so whenever she is in KL we meet to catch up. We both know that unless we make a conscious effort to meet, most likely we won’t. So today i went with no expectation other than to meet her and her family. I went home to pick up my daughter (my boys were still in school) and skipped lunch to be there on time. Well I am glad I made all that effort because I miss hanging out with her. This is someone who always layan me whenever i felt like spending some time in kl. i was working in the woods then where the weekly pasar malam was the highlight of each week. This is probably 14-15 years ago. now we both have kids, and we live far from each other…so hanging out takes different forms. Like today she suggested that we go to tourist attraction in kl and let our kids have fun together. I said yes even though i have been there a few times. I really didn’t mind. And i did have some fun for a while.

I realized that i was tired. All this effort was making me weary. I am not sure if it is the fake accent, the over anxious spouse who interrupted our conversation every time we did try to speak and kept reminding her to take a video of their kids. The feeling i felt was not sinister, but just uncomfortable. I know she made an effort to see me and having kids myself i understand what it is like having toddlers. But on the way home I thought of the time spent trying to keep a friendship going, the vastly different lives we are living, the amount of money spent today (that place was expensive ok)…. and at the end of it, i realized that i was hungry. This is probably why i am feeling kinda upset. I just need some food. Some comfort food will be nice.

It is actually nice when people ask you “dah makan?” It is one way of showing that we care, kan?

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Published by: mizrae

I am not always nice, but I can be. I like reading more than writing, and I wish I write better than I do. I hope that I listen more than I speak because honestly, that's the kind of people I am drawn to.

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