When friends collide

This isn’t  new. Having friends not talking to each other because of something  that happened  between the 2 of them. As a result, the 3 (or more) of you don’t  hang out anymore and you are left wondering how do i extricate myself from this mess? Thanks to my age, i know this is the type of nonsense you can’t  avoid in your 20s or maybe early 30s. Being what i am (btw i am not 40 yet ok !! Just in case you were  assuming i was)), i have a feeling that there is nothing i can say to make the 2 people friendly  to each other. I think as cliché  as it may sound, time heals. Whatever the argument is about, i think forgiveness is time-related. After a while (this may take years), you just kinda mellow down and feel less intense about things in general.  In recent years i have had a few ‘situations’. A very close friend suddenly became very cold and when i asked why she did not even remember why she was mad at me (nevertheless admitted  she was). Anyhow as much as i scrolled my memory thinking what the hell did i do, i had no clue. But i said sorry anyway and left it there. I think  it took her more than a year to get over it. Well, i assumed she did because we are talking to each again. There is another situation but i was the one who needed time. And i am fortunate to have a relentless friend. We stopped talking for many months until one day we agreed to have coffee again. Friendship matures as you grow older i suppose. In your 20s you tend to act as if friends who offend you are not worth keeping and are replaceable. In your 30s you have less friends whom you see less frequently than before. In your 40s in a way you expect less from your friends because now you see their issues and you understand their struggles. You understand that they just need some time so the moment they call or send you a message out of the blue, reaching out to you “hi” you instantly forgive her and reply “hi! It’s  about time! Coffee?”

Sometimes i think i forgive people just because they apologize. Just because. And apologies come in many ways. Some not so direct, but i take them as apologies  nonetheless.

Selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin!


Published by: mizrae

I am not always nice, but I can be. I like reading more than writing, and I wish I write better than I do. I hope that I listen more than I speak because honestly, that's the kind of people I am drawn to.

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