when I was hired by my current employer, I was still married…but well things were uncertain then. well you know, how divorces are. one minute you are sure about it, the next you are not. anyway, being in that position, I guess I chose to be guarded and to some extent, ‘unfriendly’. you know why? because I learnt that people like asking people they hardly know personal questions too soon. maybe it was normal questions for newbies, but people I hardly know tend to ask questions like “where does he work?”. There was usually a pause while I scanned their face to instantly decide if I wanted to push this conversation any further. Three years ago I normally mumbled something vague and quickly changed the subject or asked them something personal too or just kept quiet altogether. And I didn’t want to be rude or dishonest. Honestly, yes I was married but no, I didn’t have a husband because he had walked out and was happily gallivanting underwater, abroad, etc. So this subject was hard for me to discuss over coffee or a plate of nasi lemak. whenever I do talk about him to them, I felt like I was lying and pretending (yes, it sounds so melodramatic now)
anyway..over time, I started to open up and even join in small conversations with a handful of people. Today, someone at work did ask me indirectly and politely about him, and I told her the truth point blank. Needless to say, it was a short small talk! 🙂 but she was sweet about it.
Tip of the day:
if you are talking to someone for the first time, stay away from personal questions. talk about the weather, food, etc. I don’t know about you but I think sometimes people ask questions that seem harmless but very prying. as in intrusive. as in busybody. and people like me, we read well between the lines.