A big fat lie

I have been slacking off lately. Blogwise I mean. Been reading other people’s writing more than doing my own. Well, unfortunately I found out someone I know from college went through a tough time with her husband who cheated on her. Her blog isn’t anonymous and I guess if I had followed her on twitter or instagram I probably would have known. The truth is I use neither social app and I haven’t talked to her in a long time. I do feel what she felt and still does. She writes about her fear…insecurities…moment of panic…reconciliation…etc etc. Well M, I know the chance of you reading this post is incredibly slim but I just want you to know that you will get through this. It is her second marriage so whatever hurt she went through previously well double that and some. Because trust me that wound. Never. Heals. You just get by skating through life on automode acting like you have moved on but deep down you know that the cut is still there ignored but not forgotten. Some people profess that they are happier now but that’s the thing ..such talk is believable when you have met someone new and you think you are in love and all but if that isn’t the case then trust me there are times when you brain pick every fault you’ve been told you have and end up feeling so shitty. It makes you feel unlovable to be honest. So for someone to say you need to love yourself before you can love others well you can imagine how ironic (or reaching) that sounds to people in my situation.

Ladies and gentlemen that’s how I feel sometimes. Other than that, I feel fine and dandy and happier than I ever was. Yeah right.

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Published by: mizrae

I am not always nice, but I can be. I like reading more than writing, and I wish I write better than I do. I hope that I listen more than I speak because honestly, that's the kind of people I am drawn to.

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