My biggest enemy is my own…self.
As much as i try to be honest with my feelings and let others know of them, it is myself who tells itself (are you confused?) that exposing how i truly feel will only create opportunities for others to humiliate and hurt…me. so it boils down to being transparent vs. Being in control and somewhat indestructible. Well, emotionally that is.
As much as i wish for more respect, it is also me who sabotages my own determination to stop being a doormat. This process will take time and is the hardest of all.
I hope tomorrow will be the beginning of my latest quest to truly love myself and be loved by myself. Well,not to the point of narcissism. I need to somehow find the middle ground of course. I can foresee ups and downs.
As a friend, please do me favor, kick me if i show signs of regressing to being a spineless and voiceless person that i was.