A very close friend of mine disclosed to me recently that i used to show very little reaction to things. She, in a friendly spirit, also said that i used to care less about….people. I fully agree. I have always been very economic with my emotions and physical reactions. In no way do i not feel; i just hide things well. It takes years for a person to program herself into being on a stealth mode continuously. It’s a coping mechanism, really. I hide things so i won’t have to deal with the outcome of showing people the extent of my emotions. I could shrug a disappointment and absorb a considerable amount of wrath. I could really hold my tongue while i talk to death in my mind.
So now i am trying to be more expressive and affectionate. I don’t go around hugging people or trees, just girl friends and family. If you see me smiling at you, it means i am genuinely happy to see u. If i don’t, it could be that i just dropped one of my contact lenses while driving minutes before that and therefore walking around with partially blurry vision.