I always hear people say actions are louder than words. The problem with that is that I always tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Is it my optimism, denial or astounding faith that good things will befall me eventually? Let’s analyze my situation: He moved out, filed for divorce twice and has not spoken to me in days. So I ask myself – can this marriage be salvaged? Can I expect counseling to erase his feelings for her? Is it realistic? The obvious, rational answer is most probably not. So as I get out of my bathroom and walk into the closet every morning, I ask myself if today would be the day I finally pack all his belongings and accept that he is not coming back, ever. If I ask Taylor Swift she would probably answer that “you (two) are never ever ever getting back together”. What’s stopping me from doing that is the plain fact that we are going for counseling. It doesn’t matter that we are forced to by the judge. We are going to talk to someone finally. So being the ever consummate optimistic that I am, I decide every morning to take a deep breath instead and look away. I have lived with this nightmare for about six months, I can do it for two more. God will take care of me as He always has. Good things will come eventually to those who are patient and are truthful to themselves. I admit it – I am hurt, I am heartbroken but I still wish that we can save this marriage. Deep down, I realize that a ‘good ending’ for this current situation is subjective and may be the opposite of what I wanted so much months ago. What God takes from me today, He will replace with something better. It may not be a better looking husband (ehem) or a man with more taqwa (Alhamdulillah). It may be a more rewarding life, a career (at last) and just pots and pots of money. I can always use more money. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can take away plenty of my worries!