I used to love facebook. That was years ago when it was a novelty. Now no longer active in fb, i don’t feel disconnected at all because even before I deactivated it, i already felt disconnected. Listed as ‘married’ to someone on fb makes the separation more public than I could take. I am by nature very private. You can label me as introvert if you want. I don’t tell the whole what I eat, cook, buy or do like some of my friends. I don’t feel the need to broadcast my going-ons on my wall. When my sister died in 2009, I could not even bring myself to do more than post her picture with the caption “1983-2009”. So when M left me shortly after the affair was discovered, I retreated into my shell. FB deactivated. Blog deleted. Not because I felt as if my life was over but facebook and blogspot just didn’t offer me any solace and I didn’t feel comfortable being in public, even virtually. As petty as this may sound, I have been imagining what will be M’s wall “NxxSxxxxxx is now single”. or is facebook wired to be cruel such that it would say “NxxSxxxxxx is no longer married to Rxxxxx” instead ? At my age, I shouldn’t worry about this nonsense. I should be worried about more important things like… what value did i teach my kids today? have I done enough to make sure they grow up to be happy individuals with their morals intact? did I tell them how much I love them today?


Published by: mizrae

I am not always nice, but I can be. I like reading more than writing, and I wish I write better than I do. I hope that I listen more than I speak because honestly, that's the kind of people I am drawn to.

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