Today is the second day that I find myself very sleepy at work. No doubt, today’s sluggishness is caused by my late night rapid whatsapping with my sister. I was mad and she calmed me down. I am so thankful that I have a handful of people whom I can call to vent and eventually smile and laugh.
Lately I told myself that I don’t want to destroy myself in this divorce. I will not emerge as a bitter and perpetually angry person. I want to keep what’s good inside of me and not let him and/or her affect me. But last night I succumbed to the opposite. I didn’t exactly feel bad about what I said or did but I am going to try my best not to let it happen again because I didn’t like how I sounded like and how I felt while I was in that moment.
I want to rise above them and be unaffected. Not heartless and broken. I still want to feel but I want to be immune to any kind of pain caused by them. I want to exist in a different world where they can’t touch me. I know how to get there and I am working on it. InsyaAllah.